ImmeBlue; immeblue@yahoo.com

Part 1



Makoto trudged through her apartment door at 2am, though she wasn't sleepy
her body was tired. Her chef job in an upscale Tokyo restaurant has kept
her on her feet since 6pm. The politics of the hot kitchen, filled with
cooks trying to prepare meals for their patrons, would tire anyone out. Now
that she's home all her thoughts concentrated on one thing: a relaxing bath.
She made her way to the bathroom leaving a trail of clothes, starting
with her coat and ending with her panties.
Makoto hung her legs over the rim of the tub. At 22 her 6'2'' sinewy frame
was a sight to be seen from her lean legs that went on forever, to the
beautiful mass of chestnut locks on her head. As she laid among the warm
vanilla scented bubbles she willed her mind to think of nothing and enjoy
the quiet serenity of the moment. Knowing that when she returned to work
she'll long for moment like these. Though her willing was all for naught,
as her mind wondered to her lifestyle.
All through school she buckled down and concentrated on her cooking. She
had had no other choice. She attended the best cooking academy's in Japan
with a tuition to reflect its prestige. She went to school, studied, and
slept during the day and worked nights in an all night diner. Contrary to
what people may think it had a lot of business because of the hungry dance
club goers next door.
Makoto did envy the club goers, enjoying themselves on their dates or just a
night out with their friends. Dates and outings were a luxury she couldn't
afford, all her free time was spoken for. She'd put her love and social life
on hold to concentrate on her studies. Her academy wasn't the regular "get
a cooking degree in only months" scheme, but a four year school that
provided its students with thorough knowledge and techniques for a plethora
of cuisines, and occasional internships at an array of reputable
restaurants. That's how Makoto got her currant job; she made such a
wonderful impression while she interned that they kept her when she
graduated. She thought her graduation would bring change to her social
life, after all she'd have more free time. She'd quit her job at the diner
and there was no more studying to do. She's made a few friends but all seem
to be on a superficial level, not like the close friendships she had during
her early teens.
Though, one friend she acquired within the last couple of months seemed to
be different, very different. Azure. Makoto gave a bittersweet smile as
she remembered how Azure came into her life five months ago; the day she
graduated from the cooking academy. Since she didn't have anyone but mere
acquaintances there was no big celebration with friends and family for her
to attend, so she went back to her apartment. However, the need to share
her accomplishment drove her to the chatroom for recent graduates ages
20-25. The room wasn't particularly crowed, only about ten people, all
engaged in a boastful conversation about their honors and their future plans.
As she watched the discourse patiently waiting for a her cue to jump in, she
noticed that one member hadn't said anything since she joined. Figuring
that this person was also waiting for the right time to be a part of the gab
session Makoto clicked on the nick, Azure, to start a private chat.
Makoto's smile blossomed as she reflected on how much Azure has come to mean
to her over the passed few months. Only recently had they confessed that
their feelings for each other had long passed that of just friendship. It
seemed unreal to Makoto that it happened in the first place. From the start
they unwittingly took precautions so it wouldn't happen. To this day Makoto
doesn't have any idea of what Azure's real name is or even what she looks
like, all Makoto knew was that she attends medical school in Kyoto. They
never spoke on the phone, and yet they somehow fell in love. Makoto smiled
at the notion of how easy it was to fall in love with Azure. How could
anyone not love her personality. She was compassionate, sincere, completely
amiable, and after Makoto broke through her shell she was funny and
adorable. Makoto even loved the way Azure would go off on tangents
explaining certain miscellanies facts, often they went over her head and
Azure apologized once she realized what she was doing, but Makoto had come
to love it as a part of Azure she couldn't do without. Makoto couldn't help
but suspect that Azure was fount on knowledge, maybe even a genius like Ami.
All this thought of Azure made Makoto realize the familiar ache of wanting
to be close to her, missing her. It was about 2:45Am, Makoto had no hope of
catching her online, but she had to try.
She dried water off her drenched body with a large towel while her computer
booted and automatically signed into instant messenger. Her heart literally
did leaps when she saw Azure's name there.
Nature Girl: hey darling, how's the night treating u?
Makoto suffered heartache a thousand times over as she waited a few minutes
without answer. As she started typing her goodbye for Azure to see later,
an IM finally came.Azure: Nat!!
Azure: I'm so sorry. I was in the kitchen...I've been studying since I got
home...I can't remember the last time ate. lol.
Nature Girl: oh! Well I'm glad u'r here now. what r u having?
Azure: A few sandwiches. They're quick to make and you can still do other
things while eating, most efficient.Makoto cringed at this.
Nature Girl: Sandwiches? u should come over here, I'll prepare a proper meal
for u....it'll be quiet tasty too, honest.
Azure: lol...I don't doubt your meal will put ambrosia to shame.
Nature Girl: =-O pretty darn close (*.*)
Azure stayed quiet for awhile and Makoto assumed she was eating her
sandwich, so she wrote something.Nature Girl: I missed uAzure: I know
Nature Girl: u do?Azure: Of course!! Because I missed to you too.
The butterflies in Makoto's stomach went wild as she read that, but they
only made the ache to be with Azure grow. Makoto couldn't help it, she
wanted more from this relationship. More than just a phantom love who was
out there, some place where she isn't. Her introspection was broken by the
blinking on the screen.Azure: Nat?Azure: you there?Nature Girl: yeah
Azure: :-S you got quiet for awhile, are you tired?
Nature Girl: just a bit. But that's not y I was quiet.Azure: what's wrong?
Nature Girl: I need to c u.Azure took a moment to answer, but she did.
Azure: do you want me to send you a pic?
Nature Girl: I don't want the pic. I want u.Azure: oh
Oh' Makoto sat stunned, staring at the screen is that all she's gonna
say?' She was a bit too hurt to write a reply, but she didn't have to as
almost a minute later Azure made her own comment.
Azure: I wanna see you too. But I have to admit I'm afraid.
Again Makoto was stunned. Afraid!!!' her mind screamed how could you be
afraid of me?' Her mind skipped back to the days of junior high when she
was bounced around from school to school. Her reputation proceeded her
everywhere she went. No matter what school it was all the kids were too
afraid to become her friend, their rejection hurt more than Makoto would've
admitted. The pain finally started to eased when she found a group of girls
who accepted her for her. Only now it was returning with Azure's words, how
could someone she love be afraid of her? Makoto came to her senses and
before Azure could write another hurtful thing disconnected the instant
messenger.
She knew it was a cowardly move, but she couldn't bear to see the words she
knew Azure would write next.
The only thoughts that ran through Makoto's mind the rest of the night were
how could I have been so wrong? And how am I gonna get over her? There's no
way I can stop loving her.' Sleep was a deprived luxury that night.
Ami sat confused staring at her computer screen.MESSAGE:
Azure: I'm afraid you won't like the "real" me when we meet.
NOT SENT: USER UNAVAILABLE



Part 2



She knew that Nat had a cable modem; there was no way for her to get
disconnected unless she did it herself.
"But Nat wouldn't do that!" she said aloud as her mind formulated another
reason.
Maybe the instant messenger server dissed her,' Ami smiled as this solution
made more sense to her. I'll just wait till she comes back' she thought as
she set her messenger to alert her of when Nat came back and returned to her
work.
Though, at 3:30Am Nat still hadn't returned and Ami was ready for bed. She
didn't know what happened to Nat and was too tired to ponder why she didn't
come back. Thank goodness tomorrow is Saturday, I don't think I have the
energy to deal with classes,' she thought as she wrote a quick email
explaining what she didn't get a chance to tell Nat earlier that night.
Dreams of a mysterious phantom lover called Nat inundated her mind even
before Sleep consumed her.
Ami was untimely ripped from sleep by about four hours. Looking at her
alarm she wondered who would call her at 5 am in morning.
"Hello. Mizuno Ami speaking."
"Oh! Hello Ami, it's Mamoru. Sorry to call so early, I apologize if I woke
you."Ami didn't have to ask, she knew why Mamoru called.
"Is it time?" she asked anyway.
"No, even better she's here" Mamoru relayed with pride."What?"
Mamoru chuckled before answering, it wasn't often that you'd catch Ami confused.
"We thought it was a false alarm, so we didn't call anyone. Then by the time
we realized it was the real thing, it was too late."
At Ami's silence Mamoru went on. "I know you have a life and obligations
Ami, but I'm wondering if you can come and see Usagi, it'll mean a lot to her."
Ami was still surprised from hearing that Chibi Usa had been born. 'Usagi
and Mamoru must be so proud and ecstatic' she thought. Ami did plan on
going to see them next week. It would be the first time she wouldd lay eyes
on them in almost eight years, since she moved away to go to high school.
She missed her old friends dearly and didn't want to pass up the chance to
see them."I'll get the next train over there!" Ami stated as she threw back the
covers. "Which hospital?"
Four and a half hours later Ami walked into the cheerfully decorated private
hospital room. All eyes in the room turned to acknowledge the newcomer.
Even though all were brimming with happiness at seeing her and none more
happier than the blue pair that belonged to the woman on the bed, she
couldn't help but feel a little self-conscious. "Hello everyone" she said
looking at faces she hadn't seen in so long. She hugged everyone in turn;
first Makoto, although she wore a smile the look in Makoto's eyes told Ami a
different story. She wondered why Makoto was so sad on such a wonderful
day. Her worrying increased twofold when she saw a similar look of pain in
Rei's eyes, but she too was trying to hide it behind a smile.
I wonder what's wrong with them. Hope nothing is wrong with Chibi Usa,'
but that line of thought was eradicated with one look at Usagi's smiling face.
Usagi flung her arms wide open and greeted her friend, "Ami!!!."
As Ami embraced her childhood friend she momentarily forgot about the
sadness of the other women.
The rest of the afternoon was spent picking up where they left off, just
being friends and enjoying each others company. Though it did seem strange
to be together again without Minako, who couldn't be there until Monday,
they did have fun.
After seeing Usagi at the Hospital the three women returned to she and
Mamoru's house. Space was tight, there were only two guest rooms now that
the third was turned into Chibi Usa's, but the women didn't mind doubling
up, Minako would stay with Rei if she came while all were there. They were
old friends and they knew how to stay respectable.
"That's the third time since we got here that you've checked you're email
Ami," Rei stated as Ami came back into the livingroom "Why don't you just
call him?" she teased."Call who?" Ami asked as she sat on the couch next to Rei.
"The guy you're waiting for an email from" she said giving Ami the I know
I'm right so don't even try denying it' look.
Ami felt how her face got hot as the blood rushed to it. She knew she must
have resembled a tomato and felt a great amount of chagrin as she saw Rei's
look turn to triumph.
"So tell me about him Ami," Rei was so excited she turned totally towards
Ami and tucked her legs under her, "who is the guy that finally swept you
off your feet."
"Don't get ahead of yourself Rei, its not what you think." Though you don't
know how close you are' Ami thought as she said "I'm not waiting for a guy
to email me." She had never told any of her old friends of her orientation,
actually Ami never told anyone but her mother. She was apprehensive of what
some people may think if they knew, but the didn't bother her much. She
mostly thought it was no ones business.
Silence engulfed the room as the two women stared at each other. Ami didn't
know what was going through Rei's mind. A moment later Rei's eyes flashed
a look of understanding, she looked like she wanted to say something but
thought better of it and looked over at Makoto. Ami followed suit, she
fought for breath as the sight of Makoto captivated her.
Makoto was slouched on the arm chair to the left of them with her legs
crossed and propped up on the coffee table. Her head leaned slightly on her
right shoulder. The steady movement of her chest and closed eyes were signs
of her nocturnal state. They were all in sleep wear and Makoto looked ever
so comfortable in her short ladies boxers and loose T-shirt. Ami's eyes
devoured every inch of Makoto, starting from her unpolished toenails, to her
sexy legs, perfect hips, and slender waist, when she reached Makoto's
unhindered breast her gaze lingered.
As she stared, she remembered her childhood crush on Makoto, judging from
her interest obviously it never went away. She recalled their study session
where she would sit for hours and just stare at Makoto. Everyone was
studying, in between Usagi's various complaints, and thought she was too.
But Ami had acquired excellent peripheral vison from reading and paying
attention to what went on around her. She also had a good sense of
priority, which usually kept her head in the books while high antic episodes
involving mostly Usagi and Rei occured. As she pondered her crush she felt
a pang of jealousy at whoever held Makoto's heart now, Ami suspected that a
woman that sexy was surly taken. She battled with a twinge of betrayal as
Nat came to mind. However, Ami couldn't help it, she hoped that Nat was
half as attractive as Makoto. She also hoped that she lived up to Nat's
expectations when they finally meet.
Her roaming eyes finally made there way to Makoto's sleeping face. Her
attention turned from admiration to concern when she saw the frown Makoto
wore. She then remembered the sadness in her eyes earlier, and again
wondered about the cause.
Makoto spotted her sitting on a far bench on the platform, her legs propped
up by her large overnight bag.
Perfect' she thought as she walked around to sneak up behind the
unsuspecting girl.
"Don't turn around" she whispered in a disguised voice. One side of her
lips curled as she saw the women go ridged. "Just pass whatever cash you
have back here and everything will be fine." Though her smirk went away once
the woman broke out in uncontrollable laughter then stood up and faced
Makoto. "Mako, what in the world are you doing?" she sobered just a little
to say "that was NOT funny."
Makotot looked a bit sheepish as she realize it really wasn't, but it seemed
a good idea at the time. But still, "why are you laughing if its not funny?"
By then the woman had sobered completely. "I wasn't laughing at you're
prank" she said sternly, "I was laughing at the fact that you probably
thought _you_ could scare me. It'll never happen" the woman said as she
poked Makoto in chest. Makoto captured her hand at the forth poke. "Oh, I'm
sorry Makoto" she said as she realized her impropriety. Makoto just held
her hand and smiled, "there's no reason to be sorry Ami, you just made my day."
"Well, I'm glad" Ami smiled "what are you doing here anyway?"
"I was two blocks down the road after I dropped you off when I realized you
probably want some company," Makoto smiled coyly. "I know how boring it is
to wait alone for..." Just about everything' "the train."
Both women turned to the train as sounds of its approach elevated.
"Is that you're ride?" Makoto asked.
"Yeah! I'm sorry you wasted your time coming back here" her face reflected
her sorrow.
"Ami, I told you." Makoto beamed a 300 watt smile at her "coming back here
made my day."
She quickly hugged her friend and gave her a gentle push backwards, "you
better get on that train."
Driving home she reveled in Ami's words, I was laughing at the fact that
you probably thought _you_ could scare me. It'll never happen.' Though her
cheerful mood was threatened by one question swirling around in her mind
Why couldn't Azure think that way?'--------------

A/n--if u didn't get why Rei's upset, it's bc she has a thing for Usagi and
Chibi Usa's birth is just another reminder of the future they won't have
together.



Part 3



Makoto sat at her computer drinking tea that Monday morning. She had been
away a whole weekend and wanted to check her mail, though she had an
omniscient feeling that it was all junk. She disconnected her Instant
Messenger, the last thing she wanted was for Azure to come on and talk to
her. She didn't want to read those hurtful words again.
Makoto gave a harsh sigh, just junk' she thought as she deleted the first
page of crap, nothing she even subscribed for. The second page appeared and
was similar to the last but one thing on this page put an outright frown on
Makoto's face. An email from Azure, subject: why I'm afraid. Sure that it
was more Nat bashing Makoto had no motivation to open the letter, but she
sat there staring at it nonetheless.
Her mind began to argue with itself on the pros and cons of opening it.
Only there was one pro and one con that made any difference to Makoto. pro;
she might find out that Azure isn't really afraid of her, con; she finds out
that Azure is. She figured that the con was much more realistic and likely
than the pro. Fed up with thinking about it any longer and deathly sure
that the email contained news that won't make her mood any better, Makoto
sent all the email on the whole page to be deleted.
Makoto used her last ounce of energy to push the gym doors open and just
about fell onto the bench a few feet away. She laid on her back and took in
gigantic gulps of air, her lungs felt completely empty and her body was
heaving. Every muscle she possessed was throbbing, Makoto knew she over did
it, but she had to. After deleting that email from Azure she couldn't stop
thinking about it or her, and thought some exercise would be the trick. It
wasn't, so Makoto increased the level of difficultly and pushed herself
harder. That worked for awhile, except somehow Azure made her way into
Makoto's mind again. Makoto finally realized it was hopeless when her body
was spent and the only prominent thoughts running through her mind was
Azure, and how the need for air was overwhelming.
It was a whole hour before her body gave her the go-ahead, but the only
place Makoto went was to the baths and then a massage therapist. She needed
the steaming hot water to soothe her aches and the therapist to ease
whatever the water didn't. All the while with thoughts of that woman, and
her mail. Why can't I stop thinking about her? Maybe I just need someone
new, replace her.' Though Makoto didn't feel any better, she knew it was
easier said than done.
Once at home she found herself sitting in front of her computer. This time
she was staring at the emails she deleted this morning, one in particular.
Makoto still didn't have the desire to open it, but she didn't feel so sure
about deleting it as she had just that morning. Instead she created a
folder for it and left it to be forgotten, hopefully.
Acting on impulse she blocked Azure from sending her mail and as a
precaution blocked her from sending her IM's. Makoto took a deep breath as
the magnitude of what she has done hit her. She had just cut off all
communication with the woman she loved. However, she left everything the
way it was as Azure's words, as they do very often, came to mind "I wanna
see you too. But I have to admit I'm afraid.'" How could you be afraid of
someone you love?' Makoto didn't want to think about the obvious answer to
her question and quickly thought of something else. A smile appeared on her
face as she remembered Ami's words "you probably thought _you_ could scare
me. It'll never happen.'"



Part 4



Ami sat at her desk studying, occasionally checking her buddylist incase the
alert she put on it wasn't working. Every time she looked at it she got
more pissed. It had been more than a month since she last saw Nat, at first
so many scenarios ran through her mind. She thought that Nat went on a trip
for a little while and couldn't reach her. After two weeks of thinking
that she worried that something horrible had happened to Nat and no one knew
of her to tell her.
As of the last few days doubt and betrayal had broken into her cloud of
worry. The unanswered emails, and never seeing Nat online anymore was
getting to her. It wasn't long after Nat disappeared that Ami came up with
another solution, but that one was too horrible to be true, so she tucked it
away and never thought of it. Nonetheless it was looming around in her mind
as a quiet voice and the longer Nat stayed away, the louder and more
insistant it became.
Ami returned to her work, it startled her some minutes later when she saw
little droplets of water on her books. It surprised her even more when she
found a stream of it on her cheeks. Just then the full force of it hit her,
the complete betrayal of trust, the lies, the hurting, the deception. "What
else could it be?" she cried into hands. Her mind answered her question
nothing, Nat has been playing tricks on you for months, playing with your
feelings, pretending to fall in love with you.' Ami gave a short laugh full
of self loathing as another thought crossed her mind, Nat probably wasn't
even a woman.' Her sobs increased as she sat there and reprimanded herself
for even falling love with someone she met on the net, how could I be so
stupid.'
Ami stood in front of Makoto's apartment door, double checking it with the
address she had in her hand. The paper also contained a phone number, one
that Ami did use, but, hung up before she got an answer. She thought the
looooooooong drive from Kyoto to Tokyo would do her good. She was tired,
but the drive would keep her mind off of Nat. Usagi's house was closer, but
she didn't want to trouble her friend. Usagi probably had her hands full
with Chibi Usa anyway. Minako was back in England and Rei lived even
farther than Makoto.
It was 6 am when she finally stood in front of Makoto's door, she didn't
know how she would be received considering she was unannounced and
uninvited, she didn't even know if makoto was home. She knocked anyway
because she had come this far, might as well go all the way. Besides the
need to talk to someone about her problem with Nat was too overwhelming to
ignore, talking about it was the first step in getting over it' Ami's mind
reasoned.
Makoto opened the door mid yawn, sleep still in her eyes. Ami instantly
felt sorry when she saw the state of Makoto. She was about to express it,
but was stopped by Makoto's words. "You don't have to apologize," she said
pulling Ami in and closing the door. On Ami's questioning glance she
answered "it doesn't matter how long we haven't seen each other Ami, it's
still obvious when you want to apologize."
Ami only turned away, she didn't know how to answer, was it good or bad that
she was so readable.
She didn't find the answer in the short time it took Makoto to speak again,
"this is a pleasant surprise."
After hugging each other, Makoto invited her to sit on the sofa. The look
of concern Ami saw on Makoto's face told her that the taller woman had
noticed her red puffy eyes, and blotchy face. She was pleasantly stunned
when she felt Makoto's hand on her cheek, "you wanna tell me about it?"
"That's why I came here," Ami answered behind a self-conscious laugh.
"Well, I'm willing to listen," she said gently stroking Ami's cheek with her
thumb.It was painful, but Ami started at the beginning without going into great
detail. She told Makoto of meeting this woman in a chatroom, falling in
love with her, then of her disappearance over a month ago. Ami neared the
end her story with her scenarios and doubts, making it plain which she
believed to be true. By the end she was in Makoto's arms feeling grateful
for her support, and verbally beating herself up again for falling in love
in the first place.
With her head on Makoto's wet shoulder she wondered out loud "how could Nat
do this to me?"
Makoto thanked all who needed to be thanked for Ami not noticing how she
froze. It was a natural reaction to what Ami just whispered "how could Nat
do this to me?'" Taking a quick breath she relaxed and went back to holding
Ami's shuddering body. The gears in her head started cranking as everything
began to piece itself together, like a puzzle Makoto didn't even realize she
had.Azure is from Kyoto, so's Ami. Azure is in med school, so's Ami. The
genius she suspected Azure to be, Ami was. Meeting in the chatroom, not
seeing the other woman for over a month, Makoto knew without thinking that
she blocked Azure more than a month ago. How could she forget? The most
overwhelming piece of the puzzle was Ami herself; her words: "how could Nat
do this to me?"
Damnit, I'm Nat,' Makoto's mind screamed. And Ami's Azure.' As compelling
as the evidence are Makoto still had to be sure, "what was the last thing
the two of you talked about?"
Ami sniffed a little and answered without looking up, "just everyday stuff."
With another sniff she added "she also wanted us to meet?"
That sealed any doubt in Makoto's mind as she sat gently stroking Ami's back.
"I realize it was probably a joke, but I can't help it. That doesn't make
it hurt any less, my feelings for her aren't. They're plenty real." Ami
said drying her eyes, she still wanted to cry but it felt as though she
didn't have anymore to spill. She was too tired even open her eyes. All she
did was listen as she heard Makoto say, "maybe Nat does love you Ami, and
she just..." Makoto trailed off as she saw Ami's chest gently rise and fall,
realizing the shorter woman was asleep.
She picked up the soft bundle in her arms and placed Ami in her bed. "Maybe
she's just a fool" makoto whispered conclusively as she tucked Ami in and
thought of what an idiot she's been.
Makoto clicked on the email that had been sitting in its own folder for over
a month. If Ami was Azure, then how can she be this heartbroken over
someone she feared. Makoto had a sinking feeling that she just spent a
month hurting both herself and a woman who didn't deserve it. Neither of
us deserve this.'Dear Nat,
You left before I could explain to you what I'm afraid of. Believe me,
every fiber of my being wants to be next to you. I know how you feel, a pic
would be paltry compared to having the real thing. I want to meet you, but
I can't help be afraid of what you'd think of me when we do meet. I'm not
saying that I'm unattractive, but we all have our own tastes, don't we? What
if I'm unappealing to you? That terrifies me. I love you so much, it pains
me to think of you're rejection if you don't like my looks.
I know we can't hide from each other behind a screen all our lives, that
would be too painful. I've had to put aside fears before, and this will be
one of them. I want to see to you. We'll talk more about it the next time
we see each other.Love,Azure
Her throat got thicker and her heart was painfully heavy as she reread
Azure/Ami's words. Makoto was melancholy as she lamented not reading the
email the first time she saw it, maybe it could have prevented all the pain
she and the woman in her bed were suffering. How could I have been so stupid?'
Tired of feeling the agonize hurt her realization brought to her, Makoto
made her way to her bedroom with intentions of explaining things to Ami.
She was stopped however, as she thought that this was probably the first
time since yesterday morning that Ami was getting sleep. She had driven all
night, after all.
Staring at Ami, it hit Makoto for the first time: Azure IS Ami. She had
realized it earlier, but they were still two different people up to now.
One, the woman she loves, the other, a beloved friend. Now for the first
time the two merged in Makoto's mind and she placed a face to her love.
Ami. She was in love with Ami. Her heart swelled, and felt like there was
an intensly pure light threatening to burst it.
Makoto smiled as she thought this was too good to be true. She was in love
with Ami. Her smile grew wider as she realized Ami loved her too. This
realization took her back to a time when she used to steal glances at the
young girl Ami used to be. And how she used to spend solitary nights
moaning Ami's name in ecstasy. It took more than almost nine years but she
achieved Ami's love.
However, the circumstances of their relationship brought her back to the
present. She thinks I've spent all these months playing with her.'
Climbing into bed next to her love she wondered how am I supposed to get
her to trust me again?'
She didn't sleep but spent the rest of the morning glancing over at the
woman who held her heart, and thinking of ways to make it up to her.



Part 5 :)



the next day Ami sat in a café and connected to its network, she had two
hours till her next class and intended to go over the material before
arriving. In the middle of going over the online diagram of the respiratory
system an IM obstructed her view. She was astonished when she saw it was
from Nature Girl.
Ami hesitated to answer thinking this was just another way to allow Nat to
hurt her. Her fingers, her heart, were itching to reply but her mind got
the best of her. Only the curiosity to finally know the reason for Nat's
absence sent her fingers flying over the keyboard.Azure: where have you been?
Nature Girl: no hi'?Azure: do you think you deserve one?
Nature Girl: I guess notAzure: you guessed right.
Nature Girl: I'm sorry I haven't talked to you in over a month.
Ami waited for more, not believing that was all Nat had to say. But was
forced to speak when it became clear Nat wasn't giving anything away.
Azure: well, where have you been?Nature Girl: right here.
Ami was getting decidedly annoyed at Nat's reticent responses, but gritted
her teeth and dealt with it.
Azure: you've been so busy you couldn't find time to talk to me, or send me
an email?
Nature Girl: I never saw you online and only got one email. I wanted to talk
to you about it, that's why I didn't reply.
One email?' that didn't make sense to Ami, but she said nothing about it.
Azure: why did you take so long?Nature Girl: to do what?
Azure: I haven't sent you an email in over a week, why has it taken so long
for you to get back to me?Nature Girl: I only opened this email this morning.
Ami chalked the reason for her opening the mail so late up to Nat being busy
and went on. Though she ended up erasing her messages as she found herself
unable to answer Nat's last questions.
Nature Girl: when would you like to meet? This weekend maybe?
Ami didn't know how she felt about that. There was no doubt in her heart
she loved this woman and she wanted to see her, but her mind was pushing a
different story. Should she really go and see this woman? She disappears
for a month and a half without a word. Now she's back and doesn't give a
clear excuse for it. Ami couldn't let Nat just take her feelings for
granted. It doesn't even look like Nat cared about how she felt this passed
month. Nat didn't even show signs of missing her one bit.
Ami didn't know what to do, she still loved her, but she wouldn't be played
for a fool. But adhering to Makoto's advice (when she had woken up they
spent a few hours talking about the situation over tears and cherry pie) Ami
decided to give Nat the benefit of the doubt. You can't hide being a jerk
in person' Ami hoped. But before she conceded to a meeting she had to know.
Azure: did you miss me?
Nature Girl: I don't think I can put into words how much. I thought of u
everyday u know, not a second went by that I didn't.Nature Girl: lol
Azure: what's so funny?
Nature Girl: before I met u, I never thought that statement was true. But I
prove it everyday. You're always on my mind.
Nature Girl: I can only imagine how u felt. If its half of what I felt
missing u, I'm sooo sorry. I NEVER wanted to hurt u Azure. I love you.
She missed me,' Ami knew she was lost she loves me.' There was no doubt
she wouldn't meet Nat now. But common sense didn't leave her. They had to
meet in a crowed place, preferably one she was familiar with.
Azure: this weekend is fine.
Nature Girl: do u mind coming to Tokyo. There's this place here where I've
always wanted to meet you. lol. You can say it is a fantasy even.
Well that throws my home court advantage. I can't say no to her fantasy, I
hope its crowded at least.'
Next Saturday evening around 10pm in the nightclub next to Makoto's old job.
Makoto sat at her table, the nightclub was pretty dark to begin with but
she was sitting at the one shrouded within shadows. No one at the bar nor
entrance could see her, though she could see them.
she was on her third glass of wine. The last thing she wanted was to be
drunk when Ami got here, but she was nervous, what if Ami resented her.
What if she gets upset at Makoto for not telling her the truth from the
start and then playing this cat and mouse game.
Makoto knew holding back the truth when she figured it out was lying. It
had took all her concentration not to lie any further while she talked to
Ami earlier in the week. She thanked her lucky stars that Ami didn't ask
her to explain herself. Makoto knew that in trying not to incriminate
herself she appeared cold hearted, but it had to be done. She had enough to
explain to Ami already, she didn't want to add more lies in the mix.
Because of her contemplation Makoto missed Ami's entrance. She looked up
just in time to catch Ami openly surveying all before her. No doubt looking
for the woman who wore an emerald cocktail dress with a pin of a pink flower
on her left shoulder. Makoto watched as Ami ordered her drink and then
settle down to watch the door. Obviously because she didn't find the person
she wanted in the nightclub.
After watching Ami send the the second guy who came to her away, Makoto made
her move. Picking up the bouquet of pink lilies, she made sure Ami was
facing the door then made her way over there.
She saw Ami stiffen when she finally noticed someone was behind her. Makoto
held her steady before she could turn around and held the lilies in front of
Ami to take. She smiled as Ami visibly relaxed, took the lilies and gently
placed them to her nose.
"I thought these would make a better impression than the pin," she said as
leaned just behind Ami's ear, still out of peripheral sight. Makoto would
have whispered but wanted to make sure Ami heard her over the loud music.
Although it was brief it didn't escape Makoto's attention that Ami went
ridged again. In fact it made her smile, she knew that Ami already guessed
her identity.
Removing her hands from Ami's shoulder she asked "Do you like them?"
Ami slowly turned around without answering, Makoto couldn't tell if she was
happy or angry. The look on her face was completely neutral.
Ami didn't know what to say. She couldn't even bring herself to be shocked.
Makoto is Nat. Could this be true.' So many thoughts flashed thru her
mind. Maybe Mako's trying to be Nat for my sake,' she was about to call
Makoto on this when she caught the look in Makoto's eyes. They were filled
fear, hope and love. The sadness she had seen there weeks before had gone
was she sad because of me?' Also the love was different. She knew Mako
loved her, but what she saw in her old friends eyes wasn't the usual love
that came with friendship. It was more.
Then the logic of the situation flooded her mind, I never told Makoto the
woman's name, I only called her Nat.' Similar to how it happened to Makoto,
other facts straightened themselves out for Ami. But one thing still
confused her: why did Makoto disappear in the first place.
As Ami's body moved of its own accord into Makoto's arms the question went
to the back of her head to be dealt with later.
Ami moaned with gladness and contentment as her mind fused her love with a
body. She felt a delicate kiss on top of her head and slowly looked up at
Makoto. She couldn't help but smile as she looked at eyes filled with love
and joy that must mirror her own. Her eyes lowered to rest upon Makoto's
lips. Ami didn't know who was moving forward as Makoto's mouth came closer.
The sense of euphoria she felt at the next moment washed all thought away,
except one: I could do this forever.

The End.Phew!!